Charlie Whelan

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Charlie Whelan

Charlie Whelan.Portrait.jpg

Name Charles James Alexander Whelan (born 3 February, 1954)
Nicknames Charlie (everyone)
Special Advising
Boss Gordon Brown
Party Labour
Position Spokesman to Gordon Brown (1992-1999)
Likes Fishing, smoking, gossip
Dislikes Champagne Socialists, the City, Blairites
Friends Gordon Brown, Ed Balls, Damien McBride, Vernon Coaker
Enemies Peter Mandelson, Alastair Campbell, Derek Draper, Tony Blair
Relationships
Partners Phillipa Clarke
Children None
Personal Attributes
Nationality English
Religion Atheist
Sexuality Straight
Height ~5'7"
Eye Colour Grey-Blue
Handedness Right
Accent Strong Cockney (probably fake as he grew up in Surrey)

...invariably wreathed in smoke and gossip... He loved the game, whatever it was, and played the part of the ragged-trousered boulevardier.~ James Naughtie, The Rivals

Charlie Whelan is the former political director of Unite and was Gordon Brown's spokesman between 1992 and 1999. He was an archetypal Brownite, and proudly claims responsibility for leaking the story that led to Peter Mandelson's first resignation.

Life and Career[edit | edit source]

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Charlie at school

Despite his reputation as a ragged, working-class Trade Unionist, Charlie was born in Surrey, the son of a Tory civil servant, and was sent to a boarding school, where he spent his time smoking and playing football, later becoming captain of the football team. He was a "breakfast boy" - essentially a fag, and went on to study Politics at a reputable Polytechnic.

Pre-political Career[edit | edit source]

Charlie joined the Communist Party in the early 1980s and became a foreign exchange dealer in the City. He came to loathe the job and developed a resentment for the inflated financial sector, which he saw as corrupt. His hard-left politics were either softened or publicly repressed through the 1980s, and he gradually came to associate himself with the Labour Party.

Gordon's Spokesman[edit | edit source]

Charlie set the bar. You had to prove your loyalty by your brutality. There's a part of Gordon that likes that.~ Anonymous Brown aide

Charlie and Gordon in 1997

Peter Mandelson suggested that Charlie would make an ideal spokesman for Gordon Brown. When Gordon became Shadow Chancellor in 1992, Charlie became his spokesman.

As spokesman to the Shadow Chancellor, Charlie had a very particular style. He wore tweed, constantly smoked, spun economic policy over pints of beer, and was loose with profanities, happily telling journalists that they were talking "bollocks". After John Smith's death in 1994, Charlie began viciously lobbying for support for Gordon's leadership bid, but found that Tony Blair was garnering support already. Before the funeral was over, he was busily spinning; attacking Peter for what he saw as treachery.

While Gordon didn't run for the leadership, Charlie remained supportive, and continued to work as his spokesman through the years in opposition until Gordon was Chancellor. He was antagonistic towards Blairite loyalists; in particular Peter Mandelson, Alastair Campbell, Alan Milburn and Derek Draper; once dubbing a plot to oust Milburn as "Kill Milz". As spokesman to the Chancellor, Gordon demanded that he do "whatever it takes" to get rid of Peter. Obediently, Charlie found what he called a "thermonuclear bomb ready to go off under Peter Mandelson", which turned out to be the news that Peter had accepted an interest-free loan from his friend, Brownite and Paymaster General, Geoffrey Robinson. He collaborated with Mirror journalist, Paul Routledge to publish the revelation in a disreputable biography Mandy, but the story was leaked and quickly blew out of control in the media, despite early attempts to suppress it. Peter was sacked, and when Charlie was revealed to be the source of the leaks, he resigned in January with Robinson.

After Gordon[edit | edit source]

Charlie and Derek conspired to smear senior Tories

Charlie carved out a career in media, writing pieces for the Mirror. In 2001, he made the claim that Peter Mandelson and his partner, Reinaldo, had attempted to curse him with voodoo magic while on holiday in Brazil. Charlie later became political director of UNITE, the UK's largest trade union, a position which brought him back into Downing Street on a different side of the table. He was criticised for having undue influence on Number Ten during Gordon Brown's premiership, and in 2009, it was revealed that he had exchanged e-mails with Damien McBride that proposed to publish false, libellous allegations about senior Tory figures in a smear campaign. This smear campaign involved Derek Draper, a former enemy of Charlie's, who described the idea as "absolutely brilliant".

With a fish in 2010

During the 2010 general election, Peter allegedly had Charlie banned from Labour HQ, something that Charlie claims to be bitter revenge for leaking the home loan story in 1998.

Charlie supported Ed Miliband in the 2010 Labour leadership contest, and some rumours are afoot that he used dishonest means (blackmail and bullying) to force MPs and MEPs to change their votes from David to Ed. Satisfied that a Brownite had taken the crown, he retired from UNITE and from his twitter feed. He says that he is working on his memoirs and fishing.

Portrayal[edit | edit source]

In Culture[edit | edit source]

Charlie appeared in The Deal, played by Dexter Fletcher as a chain-smoking, swearing, vanilla-sniffing, red-flag hanging spin doctor.

In Fanon[edit | edit source]

Charlie is typically inseparable from his cigarettes, obsessed with fishing, and characterised as being devoted to Gordon.

Shipping[edit | edit source]

He is most frequently paired with Peter Mandelson (Mandelan), but has also appeared with Gordon and with Ed Balls.

Prominent Portrayals in AUs[edit | edit source]

He is hypothesised to take on the role of Del in the Gorillaz!AU, and is featured in the NuLab Teen!AU as a coughing bully, in Toryshire!verse as a fishmonger and in Girlband!AU is gender-swapped but still named 'Charlie', a Gina loyalist. He posts on MRz in Forumverse as 'fisherman's friend', in which he and Jonathan Powell are involved in some unspecified relationship or arrangement. He cameos in Steampunk!AU as a crooked, lower city Cockney.