Conservative Backbench Circle Jerk Society
The hit-squad of backbench Tories who specialise in killing off Private Members' Bills. ~ Mark D'Arcy
The Conservative Backbench Circle Jerk Society (CBCJS) is not, for obvious reasons, a formal parliamentary grouping. Rather, it is a fandom term coined to describe an elite subclass of Conservative backbenchers characterised by their extreme rightwing politics and their abundant spare time. Named for their tendency to intervene on each other's speeches with fawning admiration, members of the CBCJS can usually be found on the backbenches on a Friday morning while most of their colleagues are busy at their constituency offices, talking out Private Member's Bills with interminable speeches on topics like "How Unions Have Destroyed Britain" or "Tall People Are Not Protected by Anti-Discrimination Legislation So You Shouldn't Be Either." They can also be found in the Nos Lobby when their government is attempting to pass critical legislation, especially on topics like the EU or Lords Reform. When CBCJS members have a Ten Minute Rule Bill or a debate in the House the rest of the group will turn up to support them no matter how trivial the topic, and in these divisive times their friendship is a heart-warming sight.
The CBCJS has a substantial but incomplete overlap with other parliamentary groups such as the Cornerstone Group or trolls. There are prominent members of the latter groups like Bill Cash who are not members of the CBCJS, presumably because they have better things to do with their Friday morning than wank off other backbenchers, and a few members of the CBCJS who have not joined the Cornerstone Group or lack the self-awareness to be trolls.
The Conservative Backbench Circle Jerk Society[edit | edit source]
Chairman: Christopher Chope
Members:
- Rob Halfon
Honorary Member: Philip Hollobone
(Although the lesser BONE rarely attends the CBCJS's Friday meetings, its members will turn up loyally to support any bill of his, suggesting that the soundness of his views has won him an honourary place for services to Euroscepticism.)
