David Laws

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David Laws

David Laws.Portrait.jpg

Name David Anthony Laws (born 30 November, 1965)
Nicknames DLaws, Diddly David Laws (fandom)
Politics
Party Liberal Democrat
Constituency Yeovil (2001 - 2015)
Positions • Minister of State for the Cabinet Office (2012 - ?)
• Minister of State for Schools (2012 - 2015)
• Chief Secretary to the Treasury (12 May, 2010 - 29 May, 2010)
• Lib Dem Children, Schools and Families Spokesman (? - May 2010)
• Lib Dem Work and Pensions Spokesman (2005 - ?)
Likes Bankers, privacy
Dislikes Being outed
Friends Nick Clegg, Michael Gove
Enemies The Telegraph, Michael Gove
Relationships
Partners James Lundie (2001 - present)
Children None
Personal Attributes
Nationality English
Religion Roman Catholic
Sexuality Gay
Height 5' 6"
Eye Colour Grey
Handedness Right
Accent Estuary

A former investment banker and one of the chief intellects of the Orange Book wing of the Liberal Democrats, diminutive David Laws is famous for having the shortest ministerial career in living memory. He was forced to resign as Chief Secretary to the Treasury after only two weeks in office for fiddling his expenses in an attempt to conceal his sexuality. Gay, unhappy, and small enough to fit into your pocket, the tiny Lib Dem was an instant hit with the fandom, but the Government took two long years to accommodate their desire to see more of him. David finally returned to the Government in the 2012 reshuffle as a junior minister in Education. He lost his seat in 2015 so who knows what he's gonna do next?

Life and Career[edit | edit source]

Early Life[edit | edit source]

A young DLaws (right) with his father and siblings, looking basically identical to how he looks now.
DLaws as a teenaged hottie, hanging out with Tories and waving some kind of ceremonial mace around, as you do.

Born to a Conservative father and Labour-voting mother, David often joked that he was the "perfect fusion" as a Liberal Democrat. He went to a number of schools and then got a double first in economics from King's College, Cambridge in 1987.

Pre-political Career[edit | edit source]

David went into investment banking after uni, becoming a Vice President at JP Morgan then a Managing Director. David's wealth is estimated as £1-2 million.

Early Political Career[edit | edit source]

He left all that behind in 1994 to become an economic adviser to the Lib Dems, earning £15,000 per year which was just a slight step down. He unsuccessfully contested Folkestone and Hythe in 1997, against Conservative Home Secretary Michael Howard. From 1997–99 he was the Liberal Democrats's Director of Policy and Research.

Following the 1999 Scottish Parliament election, Laws played a leading advisory role in the negotiation of the Scottish Parliament coalition agreement with Labour, as the UK party's then Policy Director.

David had joined the Liberal Democrat back office at the same time as Nick Clegg while the party was led by Paddy Ashdown. When Ashdown resigned the leadership of the party and then decided to stand down as an MP, Laws was selected for his seat. David became a member of the Treasury Committee, and in November 2001 he was appointed the party's deputy Defence spokesman. In 2002 he became Lib Dem "shadow" Chief Secretary to the Treasury and launched "a spending review".

He was the co-editor of the Orange Book, published in 2004. In 2005, he was appointed the Liberal Democrats' Work and Pensions spokesman, and subsequently the Liberal Democrat spokesman on Children, Schools and Families.

Then Shadow Chancellor George Osborne offered David a seat in the Conservative Shadow Cabinet, but was rebuffed, with Laws saying "I am not a Tory, and if I merely wanted a fast track to a top job, I would have acted on this instinct a long time ago."

David Laws was key to the Liberal Democrats' negotiating team following the 2010 general election and even wrote a book about it - 22 Days in May.

In Government[edit | edit source]

Despite turning George Osborne previously, David was made Chief Secretary to the Treasury in the coalition government, working closely with the Chancellor to make sure that the policies had at least a little bit of Lib Dem in them.

David Laws.TreasuryDuo.jpg

David's tiny cuteness had been put to great use by the Treasury in trying to lessen the blow of the cuts (see caption on left). Onlookers, distracted by the adorbs nature of Mr Laws, were too preoccupied to enter into a fully-blown rage.

When David arrived in his new office as Chief Secretary to the Treasury, he found a note from the outgoing Labour MP Liam Byrne which read:

Dear Chief Secretary,
I'm afraid there is no money. Kind regards - and good luck!
Liam"

Leaving notes for your successor in office is one of those parliamentary in-jokes that can sometimes look a bid odd to people not obsessed with politics. Usually these things are kept between the MPs or only told as humourous after-dinner jokes decades later. David, however, misquoted the letter in an interview shortly after taking on the job, saying that it read "there's no money left". Given the narrative the Conservatives played in the election, the note fitted perfectly and David Laws published the note in full. It would become a running joke/line of attack for the whole of the 2010 parliament and brought back in the 2015 general election.

Needless to say, Liam Byrne was not happy with this, but David Laws didn't care.

Resignation[edit | edit source]

After only two weeks in office, The Telegraph caught him fiddling his expenses to conceal his sexuality and he was forced to resign.

Return to Government[edit | edit source]

HE'S BACK Y'ALL

David re-entered government in early September 2012. He has two jobs: working in the Education Department and continuing his role as Lib Dem mastermind with an office in the Cabinet Office. Loliticians were pleased. Michael Gove was initially quite pleased as well, but he soon became very displeased when he discovered the Lib Dem differentiation strategy consisted mostly of having David pick fights with him. This didn't work very well for the Liberal Democrats, who are still languishing on 7% in the polls, but it did eventually get Michael Gove sacked. And people say the Lib Dems didn't accomplished anything in Government!

Full List of Appointments
• Liberal Democrat Defence Spokesman (November 2001 - 2002)
• Liberal Democrat Junior Treasury Spokesman (2002 - 2005)
• Liberal Democrat Work and Pensions Spokesman (2005 - ?)
• Liberal Democrat Children, Schools and Families Spokesman (? - May 2010)
• Chief Secretary to the Treasury (12 May, 2010 - 29 May, 2010)
• Minister of State for Schools (2012 - ?)
• Minister of State for the Cabinet Office (2012 - ?)
Greatest Moments
Date Summary Video Transcript
26/5/2010 Urgent Question: Spending Cuts Democracy Live
Parliamentlive.tv (starts c. 11:33)
Debate in Hansard

2015 General Election[edit | edit source]

David lost his seat in the election as yet another Lib Dem Portillo Moment. He later confirmed that he would not stand in a general election again[1].

Personal Life[edit | edit source]

The Event[edit | edit source]

Though he was no anonymous backbencher previous to "The Event", Laws rose to prominence in the fandom at the same time as he did in the rest of the country when the The Telegraph published an article detailing his expenses, and simultaneously forcing him to reveal his sexuality. It is not a straight sexuality.

David Laws' campaign literature, three weeks before the truth about his expenses came out. An interesting choice of topic, under the circumstances.

While the details are under scrutiny by srs bsnss peepl, it seems he claimed rent to the tune of about £40,000 for his hottie landlord, James Lundie, with whom he had been in a relationship. The confusion is over whether this was legal or not - the supporters of Laws defend his claim that he and Mr. Lundie were in a relationship, not a partnership, whereas critics point out the fact that they shared a house, a bed and that Laws mortgaged his house in order to help Mr. Lundie buy a house in London, into which they both moved. Regardless of the facts, Laws resigned after only 24 hours of drama, citing his desire to sort out his private life and the importance of integrity.

The fandom reacted strongly with srs bsnss feelings, and remains largely protective of DLaws. Some loliticians have expressed the hope that someday Laws and Lundie will decide to marry. This could in fact take place in the Palace of Westminster, following the example of Chris Bryant in Mar 2010.

Laws Blogs[edit | edit source]

Laws has blogged about his experience. Warning: may cause squeexplosion. Highlights include:

Before the 2001 election, I rented a room in a flat in London [...] Later, I began a relationship – the very first of my life – with the landlord of that flat, who I knew from the Liberal Democrats. That relationship has continued ever since, though we have never been open about it to any of our friends or family.
I do not think I could have had the guts to get through them without the calm strength of James.

Laws + Junders = JAWS[edit | edit source]

Not much is known of Junders, but he has a unused twitter account whose latest tweet expresses his renewed love for cheese. "Cheese" is suspected to be code for "that cute little LibDem what shares my bed".

Appearance[edit | edit source]

Is David Laws hot?

Loliticians and shippers alike of Lawsborne and Lawdie disagree on whether DLaws can be considered hot. On the one hand, he is wee and adorable and his current woes have given rise to protective feelings in some loliticians. On the other hand, he is hot.

Portrayal[edit | edit source]

In the Media[edit | edit source]

He wasn't really about all that long to get a consistent media portrayal, but most of the press were rubbing their hands with glee when he resigned because it was pretty juicy gossip.

In Fanon[edit | edit source]

Woobified from the start, mostly shipped with his IRL partner James Lundie or George Osborne

References[edit | edit source]