Nicola Sturgeon
| Nicola Sturgeon | |
|---|---|
|
| |
| Name | Nicola Ferguson Sturgeon (born 19 July, 1970) |
| Politics | |
| Party | SNP |
| Constituency | Glasgow Southside (2011-present) Glasgow Govan (2007-2011) Glasgow List (1999-2007) |
| Positions | • First Minister of Scotland (2014-present) • Leader of the SNP (2014-present) • Depute Leader of the SNP (2004-2014) • Cabinet Secretary for Infrastructure, Investment and Cities (2012-2014) • Cabinet Secretary for Health and Wellbeing (2007-2012) |
| Likes | Scottish independence, books, shoes, Borgen |
| Dislikes | The UK, nuclear weapons |
| Friends | Ruth Davidson, possibly Kezia Dugdale |
| Enemies | Jim Murphy |
| Relationships | |
| Partners | Peter Murrell (2003-present, married 2010) |
| Personal Attributes | |
| Nationality | Scottish |
| Religion | ? |
| Sexuality | Straight |
| Height | 5'4" |
| Eye Colour | Brown |
| Handedness | Right |
| Accent | Scottish |
| Languages | ? |
First Minister of Scotland and the acceptable face of nationalism, Nicola Sturgeon is the one politician in Britian so popular that whole stadiums of people will pay to hear her speak. She's even got positive approval ratings south of the Tweed (largely because most people don't know who she is). She's the first female First Minister of Scotland, the first woman to lead her party, and the first senior politician to style her hair like a mushroom. Under her leadership the SNP's membership has skyrocketed and they are on course for a unprecedented landslide victory in May. No one knows whether her immediate objective is to make Britain better or to kick it until pieces start falling off, but we'll be finding out real soon.
Life and Career[edit | edit source]
Early Life and Pre-political Career[edit | edit source]
Nicola was born in Ayrshire to Robert Sturgeon, an electrician, and Joan Kerr Sturgeon, a dental nurse. The eldest of three daughters, Nicola grew up in Prestwick and Dreghorn, where she attended Dreghorn Primary School and then Greenwood Academy (a state comprehensive, despite the name). The family was apolitical while Nicola was growing up, although her mother later became an SNP councillor.
Nicola went on to read law at the University of Glasgow, graduating with a Bachelor of Laws (Hons) in 1992 and earning a Diploma in Legal Practice the following year. After university she became a solicitor, first with Bell & Craig in Stirling and later at the Drumchapel Law Centre in Glasgow.
Early Political Career[edit | edit source]
Nicola joined the SNP at sixteen when her English teacher, a Labour councillor, handed her a Labour membership application form because of her interest in politics and her hatred of the Thatcher government. Nicola resented the presumption and thought "Stuff you, I'm going to join the SNP." If only he'd handed her an SNP application instead, Scottish Labour's future might have been a bit brighter.
She campaigned for her local candidate in the 1987 election but the SNP came a sad fourth. When she got to Glasgow there was more scope for her political ambitions and she became heavily involved in the SNP student wing, rising to become their Youth Affairs Vice Convener and Publicity Vice Convener. But at that time the Scottish Parliament was not yet a mote in Tony Blair's eye and the SNP's Westminster contingent numbered in the single digits. A career in politics seemed like an unattainable dream.
Nevertheless, she stood in the hopelessly Labour Glasgow Shettleston constituency in the 1992 general election and duly lost by 15,000 votes, although she managed to overtake the Conservative candidate. Her fortunes improved in 1997 when she stood in Glasgow Govan. The Labour selection process turned into a damaging wankstorm between two rival candidates, leaving room for the SNP to come up the middle. Nicola still lost, but only by 2,000 votes, and she managed to achieve a swing away from Labour even in the midst of the 1997 landslide.
She might have gone on failing to win Westminster seats forever, but the Labour Party came to her rescue. In 1999 the Blair Government established the Scottish Parliament and Nicola once again stood for Glasgow Govan. Although she again failed to win the constituency, she was the first candidate on the SNP's Glasgow list and with 25.5% of the vote she finally found herself elected to a parliament.
Parliamentary Career[edit | edit source]
| Full List of Appointments |
|---|
| • Shadow Minister for Children and Education (1999 - 2000) |
| • Shadow Minister for Health and Community Care (2000 - 2003) |
| • Shadow Minister for Justice (2003 - 2004) |
| • Depute Leader of the Scottish National Party (3 September, 2004 - 14 November, 2014) |
| • Deputy First Minister of Scotland (17 May, 2007 - 19 November, 2014) |
| • Cabinet Secretary for Health and Wellbeing (17 May, 2007 - 5 September, 2012) |
| • Cabinet Secretary for Infrastructure, Investment and Cities (5 September, 2012 - 19 November, 2014) |
| • Leader of the Scottish National Party (14 November, 2014 - present) |
| • First Minister of Scotland (20 November, 2014 - present) |
Personal Life[edit | edit source]
Nicola is married to SNP chief executive Peter Murrell. They met when she was 18 at an SNP youth weekend Peter had organised in Aberdeenshire and began dating in 2003, much to the excitement of all the lolitics tinhats in the SNP. They finally married in 2010.
Nicola is terrible at cooking and a slob at home because she's so organised at work, so Peter seems to do most of the housekeeping.
Appearance[edit | edit source]
My favourite colour is red, and if I wear that someone will definitely say to me, "Those are Labour colours". But I like red and Labour doesn’t own it.~ Nicola Sturgeon
Hair[edit | edit source]
Nicola has developed her own unique hairstyle, which has been described as a Lego hairpiece or a tin helmet. We think it more closely resembles a mushroom.
It gives her a distinct resemblance to German Chancellor Angela Merkel in one of her more chipper moods. Fortunately for loliticians, Angela Merkel is seldom in a chipper mood so confusion is kept to a minimum. If you're ever unsure who you're looking at, look for ears: Merkel's are usually visible, Nicola's are usually hidden.
Clothing[edit | edit source]
Nicola's favourite colour is red, which inevitably leads to her being accused of stealing Labour's clothes. But the SNP's yellow and black is unwearable and Nicola has never been one to let others tell her what to do, so red it is. As she says, Labour doesn't own it. (Nor indeed, their voters.)
As befits an SNP leader she also owns many slightly embarrassing tartan things.
Portrayal[edit | edit source]
In the Media[edit | edit source]
The media used to call Nicola a "nippy sweetie" which is misogynist Glaswegian for "a woman who dares to voice an opinion about something". As the SNP's power increased she chilled out and started smiling more, so they dropped that line and starting running obnoxious puff pieces about her shoes. Then the referendum happened and the Scottish press split into nationalist and unionist factions, which naturally portray her as either an infallible benevolent goddess or a terrifying dictatrix hellbent on destroying Scotland.
In Fanon[edit | edit source]
None, SADLY.
