Lembit Öpik

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Lonely, he's so lonely...

Lembit Öpik is NOT A POLITICIAN after a Conservative swing lost him his seat in Montgomeryshire. As such, he is now homeless, jobless, and useless, and can often be seen routing around in dustbins for left over booze, offering to do politics for reduced prices outside 10 Downing Street and eating industrial tubs of Häagen-Dazs ice cream with fellow member-of-the-shunned, GBro.

Lembit is probably most famous for banging Cheeky Girls, playing harmonica, campaigning noisily for Segway rights, leading the Lib Dem Glee Club, and being the only politician in history whose participation on Have I Got News For You damaged a career instead of improving it immensely.

Tends to get teamed up with Boris Johnson by loliticians because of their similar lolarity levels. Lembit himself has recently said that he is good friends with both Boris and his rival Ken Livingstone, because the job description requires very questionable thought processes and obviously, huge amounts of lulz.

A Call For Safety[edit | edit source]

Lembit has been missing from the public eye since 7 May 2010. There are concerns for Lembit's welfare. He is urged to appear on the The Politics Show sofa for advice, support and mockery in this delicate time. If you've seen Lembit, contact uk_lolitics. He was last seen clutching his harmonica and weeping. EDIT: Lembit was spotted by @eyespmp on June 11th "with glamorous friend". Oh, Lembit.