British Newspapers

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Jim Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers: the Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by people who actually do run the country; the Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; the Financial Times is read by people who own the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; and The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.

Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?

Bernard: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.~ Yes, Prime Minister

In Britain, you cannot hear yourself think. You never really notice this until you leave the country, whereupon the white noise suddenly stops.~ Anthony Lane, on the country's overabundance of newspapers

The national newspapers of the United Kingdom are divided into quality newspapers, also known as broadsheets, which endeavor to print news, and tabloids, also known as redtops, which endeavor to print scandals. Most of the broadsheets now come in the form of magazines rather than broadsheets, although the tabloids still have red tops. The papers are also divided into daily and Sunday newspapers. Most papers come in pairs, a daily version and a Sunday version, but some cunningly disguise the relationship by using different names. To add to the confusion, every newspaper has a strong ideological bent, creating an unending primal battle between leftwing and rightwing papers. This swirling maelstrom of newsprint creates a rich feeding ground for hacks, allowing a country with a population of less than seventy million to sustain a dozen major national newspapers.

The Quality Press:[edit | edit source]

Quality Magazines:[edit | edit source]

  • The Economist (centre-right, economics oriented, backed the Conservatives in 2010)
  • i (The Independent for people with short attention spans)

The Not-So-Quality Press:[edit | edit source]

  • Daily Express / Sunday Express (rightwing, backed the Conservatives for all of recorded time)
  • Daily Mail / The Mail on Sunday (rightwing, backed the Conservatives for all of recorded time)

The Tabloids:[edit | edit source]

  • Daily Mirror / Sunday Mirror (leftist, backed Labour for all of recorded time)
  • The Morning Star (Communist, backed the Communist Party for all of recorded time)
  • The People (leftist, backed Labour for all of recorded time)
  • Daily Star / Daily Star Sunday (rightwing, backed the Conservatives for all of recorded time)
  • The Sun (center-right, backed the Conservatives in 2010)
  • News of the World (The Sun's sister paper, which died a horrible death in the phone hacking scandal)
  • The Sunday Sport (sex oriented, but not the interesting kind between politicians)