Neil Kinnock

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Neil Kinnock

Neil Kinnock.KinnockNoir.jpg

Name Neil Gordon Kinnock (born 28 March, 1942)
Nicknames The Welsh Windbag (the media)
Politics
Party Labour
Constituency Bedwellty (1970-1983)
Islwyn (1983-1995)
Positions • Leader of the Opposition (1983-1995)
• Shadow Education Secretary (1979-1983)
Likes Wales, dancing
Dislikes The sea, Militant Tendency
Friends Roy Hattersley, Peter Mandelson, Alastair Campbell and Fiona Millar
Enemies Rupert Murdoch, Margaret Thatcher, Roy Hattersley, Peter Mandelson, Tony Benn, Derek Hatton
Relationships
Partners Glenys Parry (married 1967)
Children Stephen (1970), Rachel (1971)
Personal Attributes
Nationality Welsh
Religion Agnostic
Sexuality Straight
Height ~ 5'7"
Eye Colour Blue
Handedness Right
Accent Strong Welsh
Languages ?

Do you know what it's like to have your head put in a fucking lightbulb? ~ Neil Kinnock to Tony Blair

You cannot fashion a wit out of two half-wits. ~ Neil Kinnock, apparently not referring to himself and Roy Hattersley

Neil Kinnock was Leader of the Opposition from 1983 to 1992, during a difficult time for the Labour Party with Thatcher in Government and the Party torn apart from the left (Militant Tendency) and the right (The SDP).

Life and Career[edit | edit source]

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Neil was born as the son of a coal miner, Gordon Herbert Kinnock, and a nurse, Mary. He had no siblings. He was caned at school, and took his degree at University College of South Wales and Monmouthshire, working after university as a tutor. As a young man, he was notably more left-wing than he would become as Leader of the Opposition.

On the Backbenches[edit | edit source]

In 1969, he was selected as candidate for the Welsh seat of Bedwellty, and became an MP in 1970, remaining on the backbenches for nearly a decade. He joined the National Executive Committee of the Labour Party in 1978, and identified as a British Nationalist, fighting against Welsh devolution.

Frontbench Career[edit | edit source]

Jim Callaghan made him Shadow Education Secretary, where he showed promise. He didn't run for the leadership in 1980, allowing Michael Foot to take it up instead. Foot lost the 1983 election badly, and Neil was elected as new leader with 71% of the popular vote, and Roy Hattersley became his deputy.

A good start to Neil's leadership.

During his first term as leader, he struggled with the growing influence of the Militant Tendency, who were forcing the Party to the hard left. In 1985, at the Labour Party conference, he delivered a damning speech, which has been described as his finest moment. In his "Militant Speech", he announced:

Neil Kinnock.NeilvsMilitant.jpg
I'll tell you what happens with impossible promises. You start with a far-fetched series of resolutions, and these are then pickled into a rigid dogma, a code, and you go through the years sticking to that, misplaced, outdated, irrelevant to the real needs, and you end in the grotesque chaos of a Labour council, a Labour council, hiring taxis to scuttle round the city handing out redundancy notices to its own workers. I tell you - and you'll listen - you can't play politics with people's jobs and people's homes and people's services.

He was attacked by hecklers, but on the whole, it was received very well, and he began to expel the Militants from the Party. In 1985, he also appointed Peter Mandelson as Director of Communications, which marked a step away from the old, traditional left-wingism of the Labour Party as it began its rebranding as a Party of Government. Derek Hatton was expelled in 1986 but the struggle with the Militants continued as they stuck themselves to the Party in difficult times in the run-up to the 1987 election, like a barnacle sticks to walrus' tusk before a date with a sexy lady-walrus.

The 1987 general election was lost badly to Thatcher, though there was a slight net improvement on the 1983 fiasco. Their secret aim of the 1987 was the come second, and not be beaten by the SDP. In particular, the Labour Party released a painfully embarrassing piece of election propaganda called "Kinnock: The Movie", which involved shots of Neil walking in Wales with his wife, talking about absolutely nothing at all while overlaid with Beethoven's "Ode to Joy". This was not Peter Mandelson's greatest moment.

With no realistic opposition, Neil continued as leader of the Labour Party. In 1988, Tony Benn challenged Neil for the leadership, which shook him, though he won with almost 90% support. He began a serious review of Labour Party policies, aligning themselves seriously for Government, and in 1990, as Thatcher was disposed, the Party's ranking in the polls was strengthened.

Major was an ineffectual Prime Minister, and for the first time, Neil was considered a potential Prime Minister. His assuredness was such that two weeks before the 1992, he indulged in a very American, triumphalist event - the Sheffield Rally. Running to the platform, he shouted "We're alright! We're alright!" repeatedly, a clip that was gleefully circulated by the hostile media in the run-up to the election. Some argue that his over-confidence cost him his election, though the infamous Sun front page and page 3 on polling day was also significant. Placing Neil's head in a lightbulb, the headline read 'If Kinnock wins today, will the last person to leave Britain please turn out the lights'. Page 3 printed a photograph of an obese, naked woman saying "his is what page 3 would look like under Kinnock". After the election was won, it gloated infamously "It woz the Sun wot won it".

Greatest Moments
Date Summary Video Transcript
7/6/1983 Neil explains life under Thatcherism "I warn you not to be ordinary.
I warn you not to be young.
I warn you not to fall ill.
And I warn you not to grow old."
(Full transcript here)
2/10/1983 Neil vs. the Sea *splash*
11/10/1985 Neil taking on the Militant Tendency "I'll tell you what happens with impossible promises. You start with a far-fetched series of resolutions, and these are then pickled into a rigid dogma, a code, and you go through the years sticking to that, misplaced, outdated, irrelevant to the real needs, and you end in the grotesque chaos of a Labour council, a Labour council, hiring taxis to scuttle round the city handing out redundancy notices to its own workers."
(Full transcript here)
1/4/1992 Neil Kinnock at the fateful Sheffield Rally, which some credit with losing the 1992 general election for Labour "We're alright! We're alllllright!"

Post-Leadership[edit | edit source]

Humiliated, Neil stood down after being beaten by John Major. He was given a job in Europe which he took up with gusto, and as the years went by, he became increasingly disillusioned with the Blairite administration. He supported Ed Miliband in the 2010 Labour leadership election.

Full List of Appointments
• Shadow Education Secretary (1979-1983)
• Leader of the Opposition (1983-1995)
• European Commissioner for Transport (1995-1999)
• European Commissioner for Administrative Reform (1999-2004)
• Vice-President of the European Commission (1999-2004)

Portrayal[edit | edit source]

In the Media[edit | edit source]

During his time as leader, Neil was portrayed as the 'Welsh Windbag', mocked for talking about nothing of substance. Since then, he has risen to be generally considered a Labour Party Grandee.

In Culture[edit | edit source]

He was the subject of the short propaganda film Kinnock: The Movie. He was parodied mercilessly in Spitting Image, shown as an incompetent, serial election-losing clown who talked incessantly about everything aside from politics.

In Fanon[edit | edit source]

Meme[edit | edit source]

Neil has recently begun appearing on the meme as a largely affable character with a ruthless, calculating streak.

Shipping[edit | edit source]

Neil has been paired with Roy Hattersley (Hattersnock/Kinnersley), Margaret Thatcher (Kintcher) and Peter Mandelson (Kindelson).