Michael Gove

From Lolitics Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Michael Gove

Michael Gove.Portrait.jpg

Name Michael Andrew Gove (born born 26 August, 1967)
Nicknames Govey (everyone), "the Satan of politics" (anonymous Wikipedia editor)[1], "the Gover" (Boris Johnson[2]
Politics
Party Conservative
Constituency Surrey Heath (2005)
Positions • Consigned to the backbenches to think about his actions (July 2016-Present)
• Lord Chancellor and Secretary of State for Justice (May 2015-July 2016)
• Chief Whip (July 2014- May 2015)
• Secretary of State for Education (2010-2014)
• Shadow Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families (2007-2010)
Likes Tony Blair, books, his Kindle, Latin, hiking, woolly socks, sweets, hierarchies, Beyoncé
Dislikes Playing sports, disorder, vegetables
Friends David Cameron, George Osborne, Sarah Teather, John Bercow (since May 2011)
Enemies Ed Balls, Andy Burnham, Tom Watson, John Bercow (before May 2011), teachers, parents, children, the Gove H8terz Crew, Fiona Millar, Mark Reckless
Relationships
Partners Sarah Vine (199? - present)
Children Beatrice (May 2003), William (November 2004)
Personal Attributes
Nationality Scottish
Religion Formerly Church of Scotland, now Church of England
Sexuality Straight
Height 5'10.5"
Eye Colour Olive green
Handedness Right
Accent Received Pronunciation with occasional Scottish 'R's

What strikes you first about Gove is that he listens seriously and courteously to other views; what strikes you next is that they make no lasting impression on him. ~ Fancis Beckett, The New Statesman

He's such a weird little awful gnome. Like the NPC in an RPG that has been given inexplicably large focus and you can't skip their cut scenes. ~ A nonny, Fail_Fandomanon

Michael Gove was, until the July 2014 reshuffle, Education Secretary. Then he became the Chief Whip, then Lord Chancellor and Secretary of State for Justice. He is now a backbencher. He is a close friend and ally of David Cameron, one of the strongest supporters of the coalition and the most Blairite Tory imaginable. Michael has long argued for the Conservatives to take a more socially liberal approach to issues like homosexuality, and the Party's new kinder, gentler image can be largely attributed to his influence. A former columnist and editor for The Times, he was also a cofounder of the Tory think tank Policy Exchange. His time at the Department for Education has been characterized by a string of high profile disasters and chronic low-level incompetence, but despite his failings as a minister he is a brilliant debater and the Tory grassroots and the party leadership love him for his quick wit and his ability to stick it to the Opposition. His verbal dexterity has also made him a favourite among loliticians, who especially enjoy his tendency to pepper his speeches with sexual innuendos directed at his opposite number.

Life and Career[edit | edit source]

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Michael was born in Edinburgh and at four months old was adopted by a Labour supporting family in Aberdeen. He was a smart little shit at school and in October 2012 wrote an apology letter to his French teacher for being a dick.

Michael studied English at Lady Margaret Hall, Oxford where he graduated with a 2:1. During his time at university he was President of the Oxford Union.

Pre-political Career[edit | edit source]

His early career started as a trainee reporter for the Press and Journal in Aberdeen. He spent quite a number of months on strike. He joined The Times in 1996 and over the years has written for The Spectator. He was, and remains, a good friend of Rupert Murdoch.

The Daily Fail; Occasionally Useful

Early Political Career[edit | edit source]

Gove was a member of the Labour Party for a moment in 1983 but was a Conservative by the time he left to go to Oxford. He was a member of the Oxford University Conservative Association and secretary of Aberdeen South Young Conservatives. He was a speech writer for Michael Howard but was deemed "insufficiently political" and "insufficiently Conservative" to land a job with David Cameron at the Conservative Research Department, hence his stint in journalism.

Parliamentary Career[edit | edit source]

Gove was elected to Parliament in 2005 and was almost immediately made a shadow spokesman thanks to his close friendships with David Cameron and George Osborne in the Notting Hill set.

By 2007 Gove was in Shadow Cabinet, opposite Ed Balls which caused a lot of fun and much awkward flirting in the Commons.

Ministry of Justice[edit | edit source]

Having been accused by Philip Davies MP of going native in the Ministry of Justice(MoJ), he replied: "I am not sure that Labour Members would agree with the suggestion that I have become a sandal-wearing, muesli-munching, vegan vaguester. I think that they would probably say that I am the same red-in-tooth-and-claw blue Tory that I have always been. It is because I am a Conservative that I believe in the rule of law as the foundation stone of our civilisation; it is because I am a Conservative that I believe that evil must be punished; but it is also because I am a Conservative, and a Christian, that I believe in redemption, and I think that the purpose of our prison system and our criminal law is to keep people safe by making people better." He may be at conflict with Davies over his reforms in MoJ.

Leadership Bid[edit | edit source]

Following the fallout of the 2016 EU Referendum and David Cameron's subsequent resignation statement, Gove thought it would be a great idea to get involved in the leadership challenge.

At first he backed Boris Johnson for the leadership, actively working for his campaign and getting people on side. The two had worked closely during the referendum and there was thought to be an understanding between them that if Gove helped Johnson to the leadership. Gove would get one of the larger offices of state, perhaps even Chancellor. But that wasn't enough for Gove. In a shock move, an email from his wife was "leaked" to SkyNews in which she lays out all the reason why Gove needed to be tough when negotiating with Johnson - most importantly the fact that Dacre and Murdoch wouldn't back Boris without Gove behind him. Gove gave a press conference the next day which most people thought was going to be a pre-Boris booster speech. But instead, Gove announced his own candidature without telling anyone before - not Boris, not Cameron, not Osborne. All the other Tories learnt about it on the news. Gove's speech was much mocked for it's "oh well, if I HAVE TO be Prime Minister than I guess I will..."-tone as well as all the hundred of clips of Gove himself saying he wasn't good enough to be Prime Minister, including some clips from just a week before.

Gove's surprise announcement, pulling support from Boris and the migration of MPs from camp Boris to camp Gove caused a lot of confusion for Johnson who, with just minutes before the deadline for nominations, pulled his own candidature and said he wouldn't stand for the leadership. Stabbing someone in the back after watching too much House of Cards is now known as "Doing a Gove".

"But why would you fire me, David!?" Hint: ask a teacher
Full List of Appointments
• Shadow Minister for Housing and Planning (10 May 2005 - 3 July 2007)
• Member of the European Scrutiny Committee (28 June 2005 - 22 January 2007)
• Shadow Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families (3 July 2007 - 6 May 2010)
• Secretary of State for Education (12 May 2010 - 15 July 2014)
• The Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury (Chief Whip) (15 July 2014 - 8 May 2015)
• Lord Chancellor and Secretary of State for Justice (8 May 2015-present)
Michael Gove.1.jpg
Greatest Moments
Date Summary Video Transcript
11/07/2010 Michael Gove falls over outside Number 10 Onlookers: Wahey!

A Reporter: You okay, sir?

Personal Life[edit | edit source]

Gove is a QPR fan. His son is a Chelsea fan.

Sexuality/Appearance/Ideology[edit | edit source]

Portrayal[edit | edit source]

In the Media[edit | edit source]

He has been likened to an evil ventriloquist's dummy in The Now Show, leading to Hugh Dennis doing an impression of Fats from Magic forcing Gove to do things whenever Gove is mentioned.

In Fanon[edit | edit source]

Meme[edit | edit source]

Sometimes a wizard or squib in Wizardry AU. Also appears in Forumverse.

Shipping[edit | edit source]

Michael 'Mighty Muffins' Gove is thusly named because of his repeated attempts to seduce Ed Balls via the medium of his very own cookbooks - as Gove himself says, the Ballster does indeed have a 'beautiful set of buns' (ship name Goveballs). Occasionally paired with Yvette Cooper in addition to or instead of her husband.

He has an unadulterated, unashamed, Romeo-and-Juliet-style love for Tony Blair, confessing in 2004: "I can't hold it back any more; I love Tony!" He has been known to mention him at least five times in a single Commons debate.

Sometimes shipped with John Bercow since they seem to piss each other off so much despite both being politics geeks.

References[edit | edit source]