David Cameron

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David Cameron

David Cameron.Portrait.jpg

Name David William Donald Cameron (born 9 October, 1966)
Nicknames DCam (fandom)
Politics
Party Conservative
Constituency Witney (2001 - Present)
Positions • Prime Minister (11 May, 2010 - 13 July 2016)
Likes Tennis, food, Angry Birds, pointing at fish
Dislikes Male pattern baldness, being challenged
Friends Michael Gove, George Osborne
Enemies PETER BONE, Ed Miliband, John Bercow, Chris Bryant
Relationships
Partners Samantha Sheffield (married 1996)
Children Ivan Reginald Ian Cameron (2002-2009), Nancy Gwen Cameron (2004), Arthur Elwen Cameron (2006), Florence Rose Endellion Cameron (2010)
Personal Attributes
Nationality English
Religion Anglican
Sexuality Straight
Height ?
Eye Colour Blue-grey
Handedness Left
Accent Received Pronunciation
Languages ?

In my 52 years in Parliament, I have never known a prime minister more adept at getting out of scrapes – but I have never known a prime minister who got into so many scrapes. ~ Peter Tapsell

David Cameron wishes he led the Conservative Party to a storming victory in the UK 2010 General Election, but not-very-unfortunately, he didn't win enough seats and had to form a coalition. The media got in on the act, insisting on the homoeroticism implicit in his 'wooing' of Nick Clegg, and a fandom was born.

Life and Career[edit | edit source]

Early Life[edit | edit source]

David attended Oxford University. While there, he was a member of the Bullingdon Club. It is also alleged by Lord Ashcroft in an unofficial biography that while at university he joined a number of other select groups, in particular one which specialised in "bizarre rituals and sexual excess". As part of the initiation ceremony into this club, David was required to "put a private part of his anatomy" into a dead pig’s mouth[1]. When the story broke, #piggate began to trend on twitter. The unofficial biography also claims for the first time in writing that while at university David did take drugs, specifically cannabis, and that while married both he and his wife Samantha allowed cocaine to be used by others in their home.

When asked for comment on the allegation, the Downing Street press office replied that they were not going to comment on any aspect of the book.

Early Political Career[edit | edit source]

Conservative Research Department[edit | edit source]

After graduating, David went to work at the Conservative Research Department for 5 years. His brief was Trade and Industry, Energy and Privatisation. He and his friends branded themselves the "Smith Square Set" while everyone else called them "The Brat Pack" or, later, the "Notting Hill Set".

In 1991 David was asked to help John Major sharpen up his PMQs performances. He was so good at this that he was promoted tot he Political Head of research department and was tipped to become Political Secretary to the Prime Minister. He eventually lost out on the job and instead was responsible for briefing John Major for his press conferences during the 1992 general election. He used to work 12-20 hours a day and fall asleep at Alan Duncan's house.

Special Adviser[edit | edit source]

After the Conservative's unexpected win in 1992, Cameron became special adviser to Chancellor of the Exchequer Norman Lamont. After the election itself he led a the rest of the Brat Pack to go jeering smugly at the Labour Party headquarters.

David was a SpAd to the Chancellor during Black Wednesday. This resulted in Norman Lamont being sacked and Cameron moving to be a SpAd for Michael Howard who at the time was Home Secretary. Despite their wildly differing views on social issues, the two got on really well - so much so that the civil servant's reports and facts were often ignored in favour of David's opinions. Peter Mandelson blamed David for leaking a story to the press about possible Labour/Tory cooperation on the Prevention of Terrorism Act. David remained in post as Michael Howard defended him.

Non-Political Career[edit | edit source]

David put his name down for the list of approved candidates for the Conservative Party in 1993. Knowing that he lacked a career outside politics, he set about getting one - by working on PR for Carlton Communications. He worked outside politics for a grand total of 3 years as he wanted to run for parliament in 1997.

He lost in 1997 and so returned to his old job. He resigned again in 2001 in order to run for parliament, although he was still paid as a consultant for the company.

Parliamentary Career[edit | edit source]

He unsuccessfully ran in 1997 and was eventually elected in 2001 for the seat of Witney.

First Parliament[edit | edit source]

Although a backbencher for much of his first term in Parliament, Cameron set out raising his profile in the media by making statements on controversial issues with snappy quips that didn't have a great deal of substance to them. He was passed over for promotion in 2002 but became a shadow minister in 2003. By June 2004 David was in the Shadow Cabinet.

Leader of the Opposition[edit | edit source]

David beat David to the leadership of the Conservative Party in 2005 with the help of his good friends George Osborne and Michael Gove. People were initially pretty skeptical of the newcomer since he was so young and had so little experience of basically anything. This resulted in a lot of comparisons with Tony Blair since he had been in pretty much the same position when he became leader. David's early photoshoots with huskies on sleads and his "hug a hoodie" campaign didn't do a great deal to improve his position in the polls. His laid back style and party conference speech without notes did a lot more to improve his standing.

Initially David wasn't very popular with the right wing of his party with Norman Tebbit comparing him to Pol Pot trying to scrub out the last of the Thatcherites and anything vaguely reminiscent of the 1980s Conservative Party. Cameron referred to this as "detoxifying". It was during the early years that he uttered the words "Call me Dave" and a meme was born. People didn't take him very seriously at all.

Prime Minister[edit | edit source]

The 2010 general election resulted in a hung parliament and, eventually, a Tory-Lib Dem coalition government. After a long 9 years, David was FINALLY Prime Minister.

EU Referendum & Resignation[edit | edit source]

As if overseeing a referendum on the electoral system and a referendum on Scottish independence wasn't enough, Cameron also pledged and oversaw the EU referendum.

As such, David Cameron ended up losing and starting the informal parts of the process for the UK to leave the EU. Very shortly after the result was announced, and despite the wishes of his pro-Brexit MPs, David Cameron announced he would be stepping down as leader of the Conservative Party and therefore Prime Minister by the time of the Conservative Party Conference in October 2016. This didn't happen as the campaign to replace him fell apart very quickly. He actually ended up stepping down from both the role of Prime Minister and as an MP on 12 September.

Full List of Appointments
Every job they've ever held as an MP or Lord, from a lowly PPS to Prime Minister. You don't have to include committees, but you should include committee chairmanships. For modern MPs this information can be easily gathered from The Public Whip, but doing so is about as exciting as watching paint dry, so if you don't feel like it just leave the table for someone to fill in later.

• Prime Minister (11 May 2010 - 13 July 2016)

Personal Life[edit | edit source]

The journalist Toby Young has described Cameron's background as being "upper-upper-middle class". Everyone else just calls him posh.

David likes to talk about that time when he was 19 and travelling in Russia and the KGB tried to recruit him. It has since come to light that the two gentlemen who "interrogated" David and his friend were actually just trying to pick them up[2]

Young Dave has his fans - see When Boris Met Dave for uni-era - perhaps for his overall sweet look or interesting hairstyle choices.

No-one knows the EXACT colour of his eyes, a source of concern to some of the lolitics comm. Strangely the same applies to Nick Clegg's oculars, probably as a result of the Coalition blending. Generally accepted to be blue to blue/grey.

His favourite music leans to 80's fav's The Smiths and The Jam, which frankly needs some dragging into 2010. This Honourable Member suggests The Drums and maybe some dubstep as a taster.

Lives at No.10 while Sam Cam spends an unspecified amount transforming the kitchen at No. 11 via Bulthaup, with a secret passageway connection to Nick Clegg's former flat.

Such an involved parent when he's not leaving his children in the pub[3].

Is occasionally sighted by lolitics creepers travelling first class on trains. Can also often be spotted in bed with an ardent Europhile who he has claimed as "his own civil partner" (apologies for the Daily Fail).

It is also rumoured that David Cameron wakes up in the morning feeling like P Diddy. The claims about brushing his teeth with a bottle of Jack are unfounded, though. It would seem that, given his position, drinking on the job is frowned upon by...well, everyone.

Appearance[edit | edit source]

Look at this GQ motherfucker.

Luckily for the fen, David enjoys capering around the tennis court to some effect. Cue yet more shorts, sweat-darkened tshirts, forearm shots and determined/commanding/'so hot when I'm focused' facial expressions. He also runs (same rules apply). Yey for him.

Unluckily(?), David's wife SamCam seems to be in charge of buying his casual clothes, a lot of which come from the mail-order-only Middle England catalogue Boden. One particularly egregious example is that of the flowery hellshorts, as shown below:

Flowers. And you think he's straight.

His hair is often favoured in the fluffy!hair casual style, as this helps us to remember than he is actually a human. Casual attire has lead some loliticans away from the UNF suit and tie combo associated with power and dominance, which is a possible source of DCam supporters fracturing in the future. No-one denies however, that he looks adorable holding a baby or stroking a dog, and that jeans show off his package nicely.

Portrayal[edit | edit source]

In the Media[edit | edit source]

The media's view of him changed a great deal over time - he was pegged early as a rising star. His reluctance to do anything following the Leveson Enquiry gained him a few friends in the press, but most of those hated him for other reasons (like Same-Sex Marriage).

In Culture[edit | edit source]

Although this was initially dependent on whether you were socially liberal or conservative, David's reputation generally plummeted after he lost the EU referendum and resigned.

In Fanon[edit | edit source]

Meme[edit | edit source]

David was an early favourite in the fandom with a lot of people write fic about him. The longer he was Prime Minister, the darker the interpretation of his character got.

David appeared in Forumverse and a Strapverse as well as a series of one-shot AUs which mostly focused on his relationship with Nick Clegg

Shipping[edit | edit source]

The major pairings are with Nick Clegg (Clameron)- literally hundreds of photos attest to their mutual fascination - or with George Osborne, his BFF and Chancellor. But as befits this HBIC, he's slashed with practically everyone - and their wives (sometimes together!).

References[edit | edit source]