Philip Hammond

From Lolitics Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Philip Hammond

PhilipHammond profile.jpg

Name Philip Hammond (born 4 December 1955)
Nicknames Box Office Phil, Spreadsheet Phil, Fiscal Phil, PH1.
Politics
Party Conservative
Constituency Runnymede and Weybridge (1997 - present)
Positions • Chancellor of the Exchequer
• Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs
• Secretary of State for Defence
• Secretary of State for Transport
• Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury
• Shadow Work and Pensions Secretary
• Shadow Minister for Communities and Local Government
Likes ?
Dislikes ?
Friends David Cameron, David Davis, John Kerry
Enemies Ditto, Michael Gove
Relationships
Partners Susan Williams-Walker
Children 3
Personal Attributes
Nationality English
Religion Anglican
Sexuality Straight
Height In feet and inches
Eye Colour ?
Handedness ?
Accent ?
Languages You can delete this line if they only know English

Best known in fandom at least for being that guy that you sort of recognise but not really and then it turns out he's William Hague's/George Osborne's replacement and suddenly everything makes sense again.

Life and Career[edit | edit source]

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Philip grew up in Epping in Essex. He is the son of a civil engineer. He attended a few local schools and then read PPE at University College, Oxford, where he gained a First. When he was at school he wanted to be a Policeman. This is despite the fact that people who were at school with him let slip that he was a goth why used to wear a black leather trench coat and carry a copy of The Guardian everywhere[1].

As a teenager he held discos for his fellow teens, alongside his classmate Graham Norton, making the two up to £5000 a night. Norton received around £20 a night for being a DJ, whilst Philip funded the hiring of the venue, equipment and bouncers, taking the majority of the profits made[2]. Another business venture Philip made during his youth was selling cars bought from the nearby Dagenham Ford plant [3].

Pre-political Career[edit | edit source]

Philip joined the medical equipment manufacturers Speywood Laboratories Ltd in 1977 and for about 20 years he flitted around the private sector, gaining experience in manufacturing and building up a portfolio of property interests to serve him well.

Early Political Career[edit | edit source]

He fought the Newham North East by-election in 1994 and to no one's surprise, did not get elected. His campaign featured literature attacking Stephen Timms, the Labour candidate, for various policies that he, the Conservative candidate supported, including not supporting the reintroduction of the death penalty.

The election helped him to secure a safe seat in the 1997 General Election, as despite being almost 12,000 votes short of the winner, Stephen Timms, he came second with 2,850 votes. The by-election is notable because the Liberal Democrat candidate announced that the would be joining the Labour Party shortly before the election.

Parliamentary Career[edit | edit source]

Philip was elected to parliament in 1997. He quickly worked his way up the ranks, starting with committee work and junior ministerial positions.

As Secretary of State of Transport he oversaw policy proposals like increasing the speed limit on motorways by 10 mph and other such equally interesting stuff.

Philip became Secretary of State for Defence when Liam Fox resigned. During his time at the department Philip apparently did a lot of good stuff because we didn't hear a lot about him.

When William Hague became Leader of the House, Philip was promoted to Foreign Secretary. Most people were just upset that he was not William Hague but at least he didn't accidentally started a war or anything.

He was one of four Cabinet ministers to abstain on the same-sex marriage vote and once "accidentally" compared same-sex relationships to incest. He also said that the financial crisis wasn't caused by the banks because if there hadn't been demand for money then the banks wouldn't have lent it so basically it was all poor people's fault. Also apparently "two consenting adults" can enter into a crippling and loosely regulated loanshark-style arrangement but if they're of the same sex and want to get married then nah according to Phil.

In the Expenses Scandal is was revealed that despite living in Woking and so easily being able to commute in to work, Philip claimed just £9 under the second home in London allowance.

Full List of Appointments
• Member of the Environment, Transport & Regional Affairs Committee (17 Nov 1997 to 22 Jun 1998)
• Member of the Transport Sub-committee (26 November 1997 - 22 June 1998)
• Shadow Spokesperson for Health (10 June 1998 - 10 September 2001)
• Shadow Spokesperson for Trade and Industry (10 September 2001 - 10 May 2002)
• Member of the Unopposed Bills Panel (17 October 2001 - 14 November 2002)
• Member of the Trade & Industry Committee (4 March 2002 - 2 December 2002)
• Shadow Minister for Communities and Local Government (10 May 2002 - 10 May 2005)
• Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury (10 May 2005 – 6 December 2005)
• Shadow Secretary of State for Work and Pensions (6 December 2005 – 2 July 2007)
• Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury (2 July 2007 – 11 May 2010)
• Secretary of State for Transport (11 May 2010 – 14 October 2011)
• Secretary of State for Defence (14 October 2011 – 15 July 2014)
• Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs (15 July 2014 - 13 July 2016)
• Chancellor of the Exchequer (13 July 2016 - present)


Personal Life[edit | edit source]

He is married and has three children. Allegedly he's worth something like £9 million which is probably why he's in Cabinet. Philip owns two dogs, Rex, a Welsh Terrier, and Oscar, a Wire Haired Dachshund.

In October 2006 he claimed £5.23 for six "superior" teaspoons using his Incidental Expenses provision. Then in July 2007, he made another claim for the same item. Six months later, in January 2008, he bought another eight teaspoons from John Lewis.

In 2015, despite the Ministerial Code stating that Ministers either have to give gifts with a value of over £140 to the department, or pay the rest of the costs themselves, Hammond accepted the gift of a watch valued at £1950 from H.E. Sheikh Mubarak Mahfouz bin Mahfouz on the occasion of unveiling a statue in his constituency. As the statue is in his constituency, he was able to claim it as a MP rather than a minister, meaning that on that point, he has done nothing to breach the Code.

Portrayal[edit | edit source]

In the Media[edit | edit source]

The media is generally favourable towards Philip because, while he's certainly no William Hague, at least he's not complete crap. He has repeatedly been described by various sketch writers, and other commentators, boring and dull. as Quentin Letts once took the mickey out of his hair, his wife told the man off.

In Fanon[edit | edit source]

Despite the fact that he's running one of the great offices of state, fandom doesn't really care about him all that much. Generally Defense and Foreign Office questions are more sensible and measured than other departmental questions, and he's not exactly the most engaging speaker at the best of time. That may change with him becoming Chancellor but tbh most of the fandom that likes the Tories are still in mourning at the loss of George Osborne.

Meme[edit | edit source]

Nope.

References[edit | edit source]